Dec. 3: Book (#resonate11)

What was your favorite book you read this year? Was it for school or work? Or, was it for fun? And, how did you read it? On your Nook or your Kindle? Or, do you still enjoy reading with an actual, physical, book? Why did you like it? Maybe take a picture of it. [#resonate11]

And I’m thankful this question was asked on December 3^rd and not a few days earlier. If it had been, I’d have to admit that last time I read a book we had a Bush in the White House and it was technically a “kid’s book” (OK, it was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which is way sophisticated and transcends all age groups).

But thanks to a sahweet Kindle purchase last Monday, I’ve powered through two books in only a few days. The favorite was Navigating the Land of If by Melissa Ford. It was for “for fun,” but it was also for personal growth. I was looking for something that could help me develop some (for lack of a better term) “coping mechanisms” while dealing with all the infertility stuff. I’ll be the first admit that some of my ways of dealing with fertility-related issues, while absolutely legitimate, aren’t particularly healthy. The general “look on the bright side” type of comments weren’t doing anything to make me feel better, but they were making it worse. Actually, some of these comments designed to make things better were downright infuriating. And no one “got it.” I searched through so many fertility books (sorted through the religicrazies / “I found Jesus so it’s OK that I can’t have kids” and “Get pregnant in a month guaranteed by drinking Green Tea*!” garbage) and I found Ford’s book. It was exactly what I needed. It was useful and informative (because “the Land of If” is really just like that, a completely different culture), but she understood me.  She had been there and she got the irrational angry/happy/sad/psycho/apathetic moments.

She got it.

As for whether I prefer reading an actual, physical book… I used to think I did. But, given I hadn’t picked one up in years and plowed through two in a week after getting a Kindle, my nostalgia has been buried with other inventions of the past (cassette tapes, floppy drives, Tamagotchi, etc.). I don’t have the patience to wait for a book to arrive in the mail. When I want to read it, I want to read it. Plus, I’m neurotic and would take forever picking out a book because, if I have to wait a week for it, it better not suck ass. Now, I’m more willing to try new books. Less stress. And the Kindle fits nicely in my purse, stores multiple books, and is just easier.

With two books down (both in the self-help genre and ones that I wanted to read before getting a Kindle) and a third in the works (a humor book), I’ve been searching for my fourth. I wanted to get an actual “novel” – something non-fiction that would be suspenseful. Unfortunately, I’m more of a “get to the point”-style reader and, well, authors in this genre [edit: I originally wrote "gender" here. *looks down in shame*] seem to be anything but.

They’re also frequent offenders of things like…

Character Humping: Many authors word hump their characters. Seriously. I can’t even get to first base with a character when the author makes it quite clear from page two that he/she is having his/her babies. Call me jealous, but I don’t like to share my characters. You can get diseases – like book worms. (Lame)

Attention Whoring: Many authors, who aren’t stroking their characters, seem to be stroking their egos. From their word choice to sentence structure, you can just tell that the author is desperate to sound more intelligent than he/she really is. Maybe it’s just the journalist in me, but I’m going to punch a dolphin if I have to read an entire chapter when it’s something you could’ve summed up in a few sentences.

Having an unfortunate name: Yes, I know this one is totally irrational. But I don’t care about the cliché “You can’t tell a book by its cover.” You can totally judge a book by its cover — because the cover contains the name of the author. If they have a pretentious name, I’m going to assume they’re one of the previously mentioned types of authors. If it’s a health book and their name is “Sunflower” or “Mary Jane VeeDubBus,” I’m going to assume it’s going to be some organic hippie “new age” crap telling me that my cell phone is giving me cancer or that putting a pumpkin on my head and turning three times counterclockwise has a better success rate than IUI (close, though).

So, if anyone has any non-fiction suggestions that do not fall into the above categories, feel free to throw them out there. Unless it’s My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler. Because I probably will have already purchased it. I’m debating.

My Kindle is going to get herpes.

* I just bought a super pack of Green Tea today in the off chance that maybe (maybe maybe) it could make a difference. Even though there’s no scientific proof or reason for me to believe that it does and Green Tea is about as appealing as drinking urine from a dehydrated porcupine. Let the crazy “miracle cures” begin.